Don't let life pass you by....

I have been thinking so much lately that I feel like I have 88239729837 thoughts in my head that just won't get out. I feel like life is passing me by and I'm just letting it. People say that only WE can change the world and change our futures, but what if the world isn't allowing us to change OUR futures. While writing this it may come off jumbled and out there, but it's the best way to describe my feelings and my life and what I'm going through. I'm currently listening to The Verve Bittersweet Symphony I seriously believe that this song is how I am feeling right now.

I feel like I'm begging for something more, something that is going to define me. I look in the mirror and realize I have no life goals, I have no passions, or aspirations. Don't get me wrong I am so happy to be a wife, a mother and a birthmom and I cherish the opportunities that have been given to me to be able to share our story, but I am seriously wondering if this is my breaking point.

I consume myself with work, family, and wife things and it just seems like I'm giving the best of myself to all of that and I tend to forget myself, my needs, my wants, passions, aspirations etc.

I have been searching all over trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have always wanted to be an English Teacher but I feel like motivation leaves me every chance I get to go there. Not only motivation but money. Money is a huge stressor for me.....I feel like I am completely drowning...all I want is for my family to have a great life. Yes, we don't have that many material things, we live in an apartment and have one car between the 2 of us. It seems so simple but it really isnt. I love my life don't get me wrong, I'm just tired of living week to week and wondering.....how are holidays going to go? Birthdays? Is this what my life is going to be?

I feel like I have nothing....(yes I have my family) but I mean other than that....what do I want to do with my life? what do I want to be? what do I want to see?

Just some thoughts I will try and figure all this out on another blog......but for now.....this is all i have because these are all the thoughts going through my head.